Can you think of a time where you had a specific memory, or song or quote stuck in your head that you just cant seem to erase? Maybe it was a verse you read or a song from a movie, or even something that someone said to you. Well that’s just the beginning.
I’ve always loved quotes or short phrases that summed up what I was feeling or one of my goals in life or even just a motto to live by. I’d search on Pinterest or google and search for a quote that was best suiting my current life phase or situation. Once I found that perfect quote, I would jot it down in my phone in the notes app so that I could go back and reference it whenever I needed to. Or currently, they’re on post-it notes hanging from my computer so they’re right in front of me to see daily. I started to refer to my grouping of quotes as my “Tattoo Sayings.” Now, I realize this may be the lamest post I’ve written to date, but hear me out.. It’ll get better! I promise! Haha. So “Tattoo Sayings” means: a message or quote that I want to permanently remember”. Just like a tattoo is permanent ink on your skin, I wanted the quotes to be a permanent reminder to me either jotted down on sticky notes or etched in my memory bank.
Now enter the title of this post, “Her story is not mine”. I know as a woman specifically, there are many areas of comparison that we can look to. Our weight, our beauty, our house, cars, income.. really, I could go on forever and you get the point. But it wasn’t until recently that I began to freely let go of the comparison game with those 5 words. Of course I’ve always struggled with comparing my weight to the next woman’s, or my photography “success” to another photographer, or even my social status to the next person on Instagram. *Insert eye roll* But it all changed when I began to dig into those very words, “Her story is not mine.”
Do you get it?? We were all made for our OWN very SPECIFIC reason and purpose to be on this very earth, and I truly believe that!! Of COURSE HER story is NOT MINE because it was NEVER supposed to be that way!! We are ALL uniquely made and we all have our OWN stories that need to be told! If everyone was exactly the same how boring would life on earth be? It’s our DIFFERENCES that make life fun and adventurous!!! Once I realized that HER (whoever your comparing yourself to) story was NOT mine, it gave me complete freedom to STOP worrying WHY I don’t have ABC or WHY I don’t have XYZ!!
Here is a personal example in my life: Back in 2014 I had 17 weddings (the most I’ve ever booked) in addition to my sisters wedding and my own wedding! Yes, 2014 was a little crazier than normal. Everything went great, it was another fantastic wedding season and I ended the year with a new last name. The new year came and so did the bookings, just slowly. I now only had 9 weddings booked, which was almost half of the weddings I booked the previous year. “What am I doing wrong?”, “Why aren’t people booking with me?”, “Why am I not booking 30+ weddings like ___________?”. Friends, running a business at a young age with no guarantee that you’ll make a dollar the next day can be very scary. And it was (and still can be!). But it’s like God whispered those very words.. “Her story is not mine” into my heart and I began to realize the other factors that went into it. I was recently married and we recently purchased our own home, I now was in charge of cooking meals, grocery shopping, laundry all while having a business to run. I had DOUBLED my workload without realizing it! God KNEW that 9 weddings was the perfect amount that I could handle in that year as being a newly wed. Looking back, I can’t imagine what 17 weddings or more(!) would’ve done to me as a business owner and a new wife!
Whatever your comparison story might be, I encourage you to think of “Her story is not mine” the next time you want to play the comparison game! When I want to start thinking that way, I repeat those words in my head and I can’t tell you the relief it gives me because I finally understand the depth of that phrase! Everyday we’re all living a new part of our story, page by page. I think Lara Casey says it best, “Comparison isn’t just the thief of joy, it’s the thief of everything. Keep your eyes on your purposeful path. Celebrate others. Celebrate progress, not perfection. Cultivate gratitude over comparison. Gratitude turns what we have into more than enough.”
Friends, if you receive anything out of this, please remember that her story is not yours. What happens in her life and not yours is not something to be jealous of. What you struggle with and she doesn’t, does not give you reason to be mad at God. What he has blessed you with, challenged you in, and guided you to is something to be THANKFUL for. He created you with your very own mold that no one else can duplicate! I challenge you to hold yourself to THAT standard and be proud of who God made YOU to be! I hope this encourages you today as it has been such a blessing in my own life as it challenges me daily to dig deeper into growing and living out my own story!